On The Way to Venezia (Venice)

August 3, 2012 6:01p.m.

There are a bajillion roundabouts everywhere in Italy. It's almost as if whomever did the blueprint for the roads just randomly plopped roundabouts wherever they wanted. The good part about roundabouts is, if you don't have a clue where you're going, you can just keep circling until you figure it out. The bad part is, gas is super expensive. When we first got to Europe, I was like woah! Gas is so cheap! (Stupid American, they sell it by the liter.)

We get lost in Bergamo trying to find the stupid outlets, but never succeed. We jump back in the Smart Car and mosey on over to Lago di Garda (Lake Garda) and then Verona. I think the main attraction of Verona is the Arena. We parked the car and couldn't read any of the parking signs, and sat down for dinner at one of the restaurants, Ippopotamo. I asked the waitress what the deal with the parking was, and she said I needed to move my car from where it was or they'd stick me with a €30 fine. Ew! I ran to move the car, we had din, then gelato, and we hopped in the car via Venezia.

VENEZIA
Kiani is carsick by the time we arrive in Venezia. I had driven all the way to the port, near the beginning of the Grand Canal. It was dark by then and I somehow mistakenly drove all the way back to Mestre, the town just outside of Venezia. Kiani was huffy and said we needed to get a hotel asap so we checked into Hotel Apogia Sirio Venezia at 2 a.m. Room #607
The parking fee is €12 and the wifi is €3/hour. Their network, sirio_WAN is a fucking bitch and won't let me conmect and I'm starving and so os Kiani, but it looks like the entire town is asleep, so we go to bed starving.

There are ever so many tolls on the way from Milano to Venezia. We probably spent over €20 in tolls. Every time we'd exit into a town, we'd have to pay anywhere from €1.20 up to €8.20. Along the way, we saw what appeared to be an old castle. We had exited to find it but got lost and sidetracked. I was driving in circles from about 3:00 p.m. til we found a hotel with vacancies at 2:00 a.m. no wonder Kiani was pukey faced.

Kiani fell asleep with her eye mask on. I'm breaking out, probably from falling asleep with my makeup on. She just woke up and asked me how many lights did we need on. I asked if her eye mask was working and she replied,"Yes. But I still can't sleep." For someone who couldn't sleep, she sure was snoring pretty loud.

I'm famished and can't wait for the complimentary hotel breakfast. All we ate today was some baked goods we had bought in Milano for the roadtrip. and then lasagna in Verona...

I just hit my left knee on something really hard. OW!

August 3, 2012
We slept through my bajillion alarms and got downstairs to the free breakfast just in the nick of time. The croissants were delicious and tastes like brioche, but the watermelon tasted like it had been sitting next to a bunch of onions in the fridge. Onion scented melon. Gross. I went back to sleep for an hour after breakfast, then got up to shower. Kiani had showered before me and said that the bathroom had flooded, and it flooded even more after I was done. The front desk called to remind us that check out was at noon. we checked out at 12:37. Sorry.

We head towards the tourist infested Venezia. We circled around for a bit, looking for parking for our toy car and begrudgingly parked in the structure that charges €26/day. To our knowledge, there are only 2 parking structures around there... Highway robbery! The parking attendant on the 2nd level of the structure told is we needed to give him the keys. Um. No. Option 2 was park on the 10th level and keep our keys. The 10th level was uncovered. We left bananas in the car that were slightly green, and were fully ripe when we returned later. It was so hot and humid that I didn't even have to wear lotion anymore. 5 minutes after showering and sticky again!

Venezia is a total tourist trap and I found it extremely difficult to take a photo of anything without 10 or so people trying to do the exact same thing. The architecture and landscape were beautiful, however, the snotty local workers and swarms of tourists were not. We walked for awhile and sat down for a bite at Trattoria Al Brindisi and Kiani had the Branzino, and I, the Spaghetti Vongole, and a split of Soave. Kiani's Branzino cost €8 for every 100 grams, so €24 for the small piece of fish. Apparently Venezia adds 12% gratuity to all checks! Perhaps we should've paid more attention to the menu, but €62 for 2 entrees, a soda, and a half bottle of wine is a bit steep. We made full use of the restaurant's wifi before making our way to San Marco Square. To get to San Marco, we had to buy ferry tickets, €7 per person per trip. San Marco had more souvenir shops, higher end boutiques, art galleries, etc. We forgot to go to Murano, known for their special glass, but I at least bought a Murano glass bracelet.

We window shopped and oohed and aahed at ancient buildings and gondolas til we got tired, then hopped on a ferry back to P. Roma. We thought we were going the wrong way but ended up right by the parking structure where we'd left the car. We grabbed a Margherita pizza for din, bought postcards and stamps, and mailed em off. Postage to the U.S. from Italy is €1.70

Milano

We flew EasyJet from London Lutons on July 30, 2012 and landed in Milan Malpensa 5:40 p.m. The bus from the airport was 15 euros and it leaves every 20 minutes. It took the bus about 40 minutes from the airport to the center of Milan. From there it was a 15 euro cab ride to our hotel.

Idea Hotel Milano Watttredici was in a shady looking neighbourhood. There was tons of grimy graffiti. We were staying there from Monday, July 30 to Wednesday, August 1. The receptionist was a really tan brunette with huge fake boobies, and fake, french manicured nails. We checked in, got up to our room, and couldn't figure out how to turn the lights on in the room. We asked each other if this was some sort of joke. I even turned my flashlight on, and finally, Kiani called the fake tittied receptionist and asked her how to turn the lights on. Her response, "You have the put the key card in the wall, Madame." No one told us how high-tech Europe was...sorry for living!

We were starving and tired, as per usual, and found a bar/restaurant across the street, Enoteca Boscogrosso. Their kitchen had already closed, and the staff didn't really speak much english. We were famished, and ordered whatever they had available. my friend's salad was HUGE and so was my salumi and cheese platter. We never finished it, but suckered down the bottle of Falanghina. We were just grateful for food at that late hour...The staff actually sat down and chatted with us haha. We told them we loved carbonara so they said to come back the following night and they would make it especially for us, it wasn't on the menu.

A hot hot blonde babe wanders in and my friend Kiani and I both want to be her friend. We end up chatting and she buys us all rounds of Limoncello, and invites us to hang out by the pool in her Villa the following day. We stumble home to the hotel a short while later.

Hot blonde babe's boyfriend texts us the next day on behalf of his girlfriend, that she is not feeling well and that the pool would be postponed. Kiani had left to wander around and I slept in. She was waiting around the Duomo and I took a cab to go meet her. Somewhere in between her texting me, and me getting to the Duomo, she had dropped her iphone and the screen had gone blank. I sat down on the steps in front of the church and looked around for her, then looked to my right. She was setting not too far away, on the same steps. Close call! We decided we wanted to climb to the top of the Duomo, and it costs 6 euros to climb the 250 steps, and 10 euros to take the elevator. 

Later that evening, we head to Enoteca Boscogrosso, and true to their word, our spaghetti carbonara is waiting for us. Hot blonde babe is there as well, and she picks us up at our hotel the following day after we've checked out of our hotel. We lounge by the pool at her Villa in Zibido San Giacomo for several hours, sipping on prosecco that her father produces! She says she would love to have us stay at the Villa, but it is unsafe. There had been a few robberies in the area recently. All the Italians had left to go on vacation and robbery was skyrocketing.

Hot blonde babe, Isabell, had promised to make us the best carbonara ever. We stayed at her apartment in Milano for the next 2 days. Her carbonara was truly the best I've ever had. I think she was a socialite, and an ex model. We found an old magazine ad she was in...I've never ever met such a hospitable and generous person in my life. When she picked us up at our hotel, she brought her car, and her boyfriend drove separately and stashed our bags in his car...her car was too small she said.

Isabell and her boyfriend, Mario, introduced us to all their friends, took us sightseeing, and made us feel so at home. We saw Castello Sforzesco e Fontana, Le Colonne, where we visited a few bars,  and La Hora Feliz, where we had happy hour. There was a huge buffet at La Hora Feliz. Basically you buy a drink, and you can load up on as much food as you can fit in your belly!!! I've never seen anything like it. My favorites were the croquettes and the prosciutto wrapped melon. I think I ate the entire tray of nutella cookies.

Isabell made our visit to Milan one that we will remember for the rest of our lives. She invited us on a lake excursion, but we rented a Smartcar and drove to Lago di Garda (Garda Lake) instead.

We did a pitstop in Verona and couldn't figure out what the parking signs meant. Wandered around for a bit and Kiani and I got sidetracked and separated by the Arena, but found each other again. We sat down for dinner at Ippopotamo, and I asked the waitress if it was ok to park where we parked. She shook her head and said I should move it or be slapped with a 30 euro fine. I got to the car and luckily, there was no ticket. I moved the car to the street with the giant clock tower, and ran back to eat my lasagna. There was a cold stone gelato shop attached to the restaurant...I think we ate gelato twice a day, every day the whole time we were in Italy.

We jumped in the car and made our way toward Venezia...